Dream

I had a dream last night about my Nonna. I dont think I have had a dream about her in more then a year. I saw a nursing home, not the one she really was in though, this was more sterile and hospital like. I was sitting with her, my mother was there too. We were trying to talk to her but she could hardly talk, she just gazed off into the distance. Her roommate was there although I did not recognize her as someone she actually roomed with. Her roommates daughter was there too. They were having nice conversations about things.

My mom said that both nonna and her roommate were up for "review". Some how I knew what this meant. It was review to see if they had enough life in them to keep living, or if they should be put to sleep. I was horrified about this but I couldn't do anything to stop it. I dident understand how it was ok to let someone else decide if it was time to basically kill my grandmother. But it happened. We all walked down to this hallway. Nonna's roommait went in first. She came out 15 mins later happy as a clam, her daughter releaved that her mom still had enough life to keep living. Then nonna went in. I sat unable to do anything outside. I listened to someone interivew her. A shrink maybe? A doctor? I dont know. They asked her who we were, nonna said she dident know. She asked her what she liked to do durring the day, Nonna said nothing. I listened for another question but she just said "go in peace angela" And before i knew it I was screaming because I knew what they were doing... They gave her an injection to kill her. I couldent do anything, I couldent even be in the same room as her. I wanted to be with her but I couldent. Just like when she really died, I wanted to be there. I miss her.