I thought I would be more depressed today. I woke up in a cold sweat though. Freaked out about my future, missing nonna something horrible. I was eventually able to calm down, left the house about 11:30 for the Farmers market. Once I got out things were better, I got distracted by the world around me. NYC is good for that. It takes all your problems and shoves the to the back of your brain. How can you think about something awful when the whole world around you is dancing around.
At night though I miss her again. I read and re-read my writings about her. Thinking about what she would say to me if she could today. I try so hard to remember what she was like before Alz, but those memories are harder and harder to pull up. I just hope there is a heaven, because I want to believe that she is happer now, that she is with her husband finally, and my cousin Nicky. I want to believe that.
6 comments:
My daughter enjoys the farmers markets where she lives. Actually I think she enjoys meeting her girlfriends for Bloody Marys in the morning but who am I to judge? :)
If you didn't miss Nonna, I would worry. I still miss my folks and always will. I truly believe our loved ones are free of the pain they felt on this earth and have been joined with those who went before them. In the end, we will all find out for sure.
Take care sweetie. You made it through a very tough day.
Thanks Chris. I am really glad you posted. I was starting to think none of my old friends were going to ever visit this blog. I really miss you guys.
thanks to chris for sending us to your new blog!
sounds like NY is treating you alright, stef! of course you're missing nonna.... you loved her too much not to. i worry about the waking up in cold sweats tho... i'm glad you were able to find your strength and way.
you're one kewl chica!! keep doin' what you're doin'!!
Hey, I found you!!!! (thanks to Chris). I'm glad the buzz of NY creates a distraction for you. Enjoy this time of your life sweetie. Explore this wonderful new place.
I do believe with all my heart that there is a Heaven and one day you will see nonna again. For right now I am sure she is watching over you and beaming with pride.
Hey Little Buddy,
There is a Heaven and Nonna is there watching down over her "Stef' and seeing all the beautiful things that you are doing and the beautiful young lady that you are becoming.
I need NYC right now. LOL. It has been a long last 2 weeks but this too will pass.
I love the picture of you and Nate on you page. So sweet.
Take care..miss you...love you!
Cruised by your latest blog and it looks really nice.
What is love if it's not missed? You're really beautiful!
♥♥♥
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